I had a recurring dream last night I’ve had since I was a teenager about a house. In high school, it was always nightmares. I’d dream there was a bad person there, and I’d try to escape or stay away. Later I learned the house probably represented my life. I did have really bad people hurting me in high school. After high school, my recurring dream was about me hiding in the house, just inside the door, and there was lots of the house, basements and so forth, that I was terrified of. Later, I could tell I’d buried part of myself, split her off from the rest of me. In the dreams, I started tiptoeing, slowly exploring different rooms in the basement. I’d stumbled across memorabilia from grandparents. I started being intrigued and exploring more, still super terrified of what was further along. Eventually, I had this dream that had a huge impact on my daily life. I dreamed I made it further along in the basement of the house to these rooms, one a dance studio or ball room, one a kitchen, a bedroom, and oddly, a sewing room. I don’t sow. I went into the sewing room with a sledgehammer and started hammering a brick wall until I made a hole. I climbed through and was outside. I sat down on a bench. I had come back out. When I woke up, for 3 straight days, I was more terrified than ever in my life. My grandma stayed on the phone with me almost the whole day each day, everywhere I went. I was blindingly terrified. It was like this part of me that had been locked up in that house for protection was out now, this raw terrified person. This is actually when I quit leaving my house, gained weight, became utterly exhausted. However, I did have 2 horrible traumas within a couple of years leading up to this that had also initiated this. Within 3 months of this dream I met someone and got married. Aside from this, I’ve never been so impetuous. I’m usually too indecisive. The marriage only lasted 6 months. That was 15 years ago and I kept hiding, I kept being exhausted, I developed trauma related OCD, I gained 130-140 lbs. through these years, I kept having the recurring dream of the house. Progressively, I became less terrified of exploring further and more curious. I discovered an area of the house locked off and was huge, like a mansion or castle, it needed lots of work, it was very run down and abandoned, but also exciting and beautiful. It was neat to shift from being utterly terrified of this area to being so intrigued by it. It took a long time and lots of recurring dreams. Lately each time I dream of this house, my mom and her husband, who I call the monster, live there. Lots of times I’m lively there too, finding rooms to separate myself from them, finding ways to not ever have to be around the monster. In these dreams, I’m still so intrigued by all the rooms I’m exploring. I’m always like, look at what I could do with this area, it’s so neat. Lots of times, I’ll stumble across the monster in the basement laundry room. It’s so gross and terrifying. I’m trying to wash my clothes as quick as possible to avoid running into him, but I always evidence he’s been there. Sometimes I’m closing doors, trying best to stay far away in other rooms. Well, last night, I dreamed of my home again. In this dream, my mom and the monster owned the home. I was there and mom was there. I was exploring the home with same wonder as usual, imagining all the neat things I could do, discovering so many neat rooms, in awe of how lavish so many are, but they just need lots of work. Over in the other part of the home, that’s still neat, my mom and the monster are fixing it up. It does look really good, and I really like it. But there’s such an uneasiness. I only see mom, the monster is not there, but I know his presence is, I know mom and him own the home. It’s conflicting feelings. Later last night, I dreamed of a home, not certain if it was this one, and there was a monster there. That monster was trying to get me and other people there with me. We were all working together trying to escape, but we may have been arguing a little with each other on how to do that and maybe somewhat blaming each other on why the monster was there, but overall, we were being kind and working together.
Your recurring dream about the house serves as a profound reflection of your inner emotional landscape, as it encapsulates past traumas, personal growth, and the ongoing struggle for autonomy and healing. To interpret your dream effectively, let's break it down into several components: the house, the monsters, the process of exploration, and the relationships depicted in your dreams.
The House as a Symbol: The house signifies your psyche and the various aspects of your life. In previous dreams where you felt trapped or fearful, the house embodied the turmoil of your teenage years marked by trauma and hurt. As you progressed in your dreams — from nightmare scenarios to explorative ones — the house transformed from a place of fear to one of potential and curiosity. This shift illustrates your evolving relationship with your past and how you're beginning to reclaim parts of yourself that were hidden away for protection.
Monsters as Representations of Trauma: In your dreams, the "monster" symbolizes the enduring presence of past trauma, particularly related to your mother and her partner. Their ownership of the house signifies how these emotional ties still hold sway over your life, even as you explore your potential. The monster embodies the fears, guilt, shame, or unresolved issues that may arise from these relationships. It feels as if your subconscious is reminding you of the need to be cautious around these emotions and experiences while simultaneously acknowledging their presence as part of your history.
Exploration and Curiosity: Your increasing curiosity about the house reflects a burgeoning self-awareness and willingness to confront aspects of your life. The earlier trepidation in exploring the basement illustrates how confronting buried emotions can be overwhelming and terrifying. However, as you've begun to view hidden rooms with awe and interest, it suggests a developing sense of agency and resilience. You are learning to embrace what was previously scary and are uncovering lost parts of yourself, just as you found memorabilia from your grandparents.
The Shift in the Dream's Dynamics: The most recent dreams where you explore the house while your mom and the monster work on it suggest a conflicted relationship with your past. You admire the work being done, symbolizing an acknowledgment of transformation. However, you simultaneously feel uneasy about their presence, indicating that, while you see beauty and potential in healing, the shadows of your past still linger, reminding you to tread carefully as you navigate your emotional landscape.
Collective Escape: In dreams where you are trying to escape the monster with others, this reflects a longing for connection and support in facing your fears. The collaboration and problem-solving suggest a healthy coping mechanism, a realization that you aren't alone in your struggles. This points to your desire to find community in healing and to work together towards liberation from the “monsters” that haunt your psyche.
Overall Interpretation: This series of dreams reveals a long journey towards self-acceptance, healing, and empowerment. You have traversed through significant trauma, and while remnants still linger, it is clear that you are beginning to explore what healing might look like. Your dreams act as a map of this journey, manifesting the turmoil you have faced, the curiosity that has ignited your spirit, and the ongoing presence of both fear and hope.
Moving forward, consider embracing these dreams as tools for reflection and healing. Each exploration of the house might reveal insights or truths about yourself and your relationship with trauma. Engage with this journey with an open heart, knowing that both the painful and beautiful aspects of your life contribute to the person you are becoming. In dreams like these, you have a unique opportunity to reclaim your narrative and build a life that reflects your true self.